Hi snowsparky,
I had this problem like yours before. And luckily I have solved it

.
Here are step you should follow and check carefully!
My setting (using XCTU):
Creator:
1) AH = 1 (IBSS Creator)
2) CE = 2 (STA mode)
3) ID (SSID) = adhoc_test
4) EE = 0 (No security)
5) IP = 0 (UDP)
6) MA = 1 (Static)
7) NS (DNS Address) = 192.168.1.1

DL = 192.168.1.13 (Note: this is Joiner address)
9) GW = 192.168.1.1
10) MK= 255.255.255.0
11) MY= 192.168.1.12 (Note: Creator Address)
Joiner:
1) AH = 0 (IBSS Joiner)
2) CE = 2 (STA mode)
3) ID (SSID) = adhoc_test
4) EE = 0 (No security)
5) IP = 0 (UDP)
6) MA = 1 (Static)
7) NS (DNS Address) = 192.168.1.1

DL = 192.168.1.12 (Note: this is Creator address)
9) GW = 192.168.1.1
10) MK= 255.255.255.0
11) MY= 192.168.1.13 (Note: Joiner Address)
After setting up 2 devices, you should disconnect 2 Xbee-wifi from XCTU (my experiences) by click button (x). Then you reconnect both to XCTU again (note: Creator should be connected 1st, then Joiner).
When both devices are connected, you have to check the part "Change MAC/PHY Settings" for both:
1) The AI should be 0.
2) DI should be 2
3) CH should be same for both (if not you have to change by using AT command mode ==>> ATCH_channel_number
==>> When this parameters are same for both devices then they are now connected and you can talk between them
